Middle School, Map-Jacket, Mode: Life

I can't shake the feeling today that I'm waiting for something. It's only been today so I think it's the start of waiting. Sure, there are actually things that I'm waiting for (calls from jobs I've applied to, meeting people now that I'm in a "new" place, for life to unfold), but sometimes I get the feeling that something is coming in my direction and I just have to wait. The first time I got this feeling was in middle school. I guess it was similar to today in some ways. I woke up at a friend's house one weekend morning after a sleepover and remembered dreaming about a boy in my grade. He wasn't anyone special, I just dreamt about him. Then I had the feeling I was waiting for something. I think the feeling had started a little before that morning, but I connect that morning with knowing I had that feeling. Today I woke up at a friend's house in Santa Cruz and remembered my dream about a boy who I was dating (in the dream), and since I've felt like I'm waiting. Of course, I didn't remember the middle-school incident when I started waiting so I don't think it was just the memory that triggered the sensation, but I'm comparing both incidents now. I can't remember if anything significant happened in middle school or if the waiting ended at any one time. We'll see when this new one ends.

Anyway, I was just in Santa Cruz and I can sufficiently describe the visit with the nouns 'warmth', and 'music' - there was a lot of each. I laid in blankets on the floor with my friends, I laid in the sun that was shining through the window while I read, I sat by a fire outside, I sat in front of the furnace at a friend's house while watching Totoro and drinking hot cocoa (that's two warmths in one). People played guitar and sang, people played music on their laptops, we listened to a fiddle-banjo-guitar combo at the aforementioned fire outside, we chose mix tapes to play in the car on the drive, and we danced to my friends' friends' band (The Best Friends--awesome band). Another trend: I saw way more maps than I have in a long time. Every house had a map on the wall, and there was one blow-up globe and one map-jacket. I think everyone there knows where they are and are very happy to be there.

So it was a very nice transition for me to get out of funk week (last week I did nothing, seriously) and into life mode (yes, I have a life mode). This week, I have a list of things I need to do, including finding work, time with friends, projects, exercise, exploring, and a birthday. I think it will help me wait, too. I love surprises, but I'm impatient.

P.S. I hate coming up with titles. That's a lie, sometimes I love it, but usually, no. Anyway the title of this is three things which I like sometimes but which reminds me of the book I just read: Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World, by Haruki Murakami. Great author.