moving to tumblr. sorry blogger, it's been good.

lifeintrees.tumblr.com

Eyes Of A Blue Dog

I fell in love with Gabriel Garcia Marquez's writing in high school. I think the term "magic realism" fits it perfectly and is what made the text so appealing to me. Lately I like more colloquial language, but Garcia Marquez's is just within reach that I get don't bored, but far enough that I can't breeze through it without giving my brain a rest.

100 Years of Solitude took me a week, then I followed it up with Garcia Marquez's Collected Stories. If you never have, read both of these at the same time. It's excellent. Characters who are mentioned in passing in the novel have their own story in the collection, and vice versa. One character even stars in both..her life being introduced in the novel and finished in a story.

My favorite short story has always been "Eyes of a Blue Dog"...there was an image in my head immediately connected with that phrase, but it has since been replaced with any of George Rodrigue's paintings in his Blue Dog series. Anyway, the story is about a man and a woman who dream of each other; their interaction is intimate but unromantic, they remember knowing each other from past dreams and inform the reader that the man is "the only man who doesn't remember anything of what he's dreamed after he wakes up." Eyes of a blue dog is their secret message to one another, or rather from the woman to the man in the awoken world. She writes it anywhere she can in hopes that he will see it and remember.

I thought about this story in the shower an hour ago. Last night, a friend told me she was reading 100 Years of Solitude and I recommended the book of Collected Stories, same as I have now. But more importantly - to me anyway - this morning I woke up from a dream about a tall boy with dirty blond hair. In the dream I knew his face, his name, his mannerisms, his sense of humor..I knew our history as a couple - but of course these are all things you forget when your phone sings to you from your nightstand and you squint at the phone number on the display before silencing the ringtone. I laid in bed thinking about this stranger I knew so well a few moments ago and remembered that it wasn't my first dream about him. A week, maybe two, ago I dreamt about another brown-and-blond-haired boy - but that dream started when we first got together, before skipping to us being a couple. I wouldn't have connected the two at all except that 1. I have never dated or been seriously attracted to anyone but dark-haired boys, and 2. In both dreams he made a gesture to me: different gestures but similar and under the same context.

I believe in dreams, I believe in their interpretations by the dreamer, and this isn't the first time I've dreamt of a recurring subject. I'll have to think about this one, maybe visit the dream interpreters at Farmer's Market, and whisper eyes of a blue dog to a few blond(ish)-haired boys.

Middle School, Map-Jacket, Mode: Life

I can't shake the feeling today that I'm waiting for something. It's only been today so I think it's the start of waiting. Sure, there are actually things that I'm waiting for (calls from jobs I've applied to, meeting people now that I'm in a "new" place, for life to unfold), but sometimes I get the feeling that something is coming in my direction and I just have to wait. The first time I got this feeling was in middle school. I guess it was similar to today in some ways. I woke up at a friend's house one weekend morning after a sleepover and remembered dreaming about a boy in my grade. He wasn't anyone special, I just dreamt about him. Then I had the feeling I was waiting for something. I think the feeling had started a little before that morning, but I connect that morning with knowing I had that feeling. Today I woke up at a friend's house in Santa Cruz and remembered my dream about a boy who I was dating (in the dream), and since I've felt like I'm waiting. Of course, I didn't remember the middle-school incident when I started waiting so I don't think it was just the memory that triggered the sensation, but I'm comparing both incidents now. I can't remember if anything significant happened in middle school or if the waiting ended at any one time. We'll see when this new one ends.

Anyway, I was just in Santa Cruz and I can sufficiently describe the visit with the nouns 'warmth', and 'music' - there was a lot of each. I laid in blankets on the floor with my friends, I laid in the sun that was shining through the window while I read, I sat by a fire outside, I sat in front of the furnace at a friend's house while watching Totoro and drinking hot cocoa (that's two warmths in one). People played guitar and sang, people played music on their laptops, we listened to a fiddle-banjo-guitar combo at the aforementioned fire outside, we chose mix tapes to play in the car on the drive, and we danced to my friends' friends' band (The Best Friends--awesome band). Another trend: I saw way more maps than I have in a long time. Every house had a map on the wall, and there was one blow-up globe and one map-jacket. I think everyone there knows where they are and are very happy to be there.

So it was a very nice transition for me to get out of funk week (last week I did nothing, seriously) and into life mode (yes, I have a life mode). This week, I have a list of things I need to do, including finding work, time with friends, projects, exercise, exploring, and a birthday. I think it will help me wait, too. I love surprises, but I'm impatient.

P.S. I hate coming up with titles. That's a lie, sometimes I love it, but usually, no. Anyway the title of this is three things which I like sometimes but which reminds me of the book I just read: Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World, by Haruki Murakami. Great author.

As long as I'm on a roll...

I'll keep on rolling. So I was just thinking again about a new name for this blog. I sort of wanted to incorporate the nickname "Treee" so I googled it. News: There already is a Treee blog! Not fair. It's a cool blog though, the person is an artist with some cute comics.

And then I thought, wow I've never even mentioned my little stuffed guys! I mean, no one really reads this blog yet because I won't post it anywhere or tell anyone about it, but there needs to be a record. So here they are in order of appearance on Earth.

Chedda, the sock monster. He has dreadlocks and a messy heart.

DoboRAWR, the dinosaur. His name comes from an old joke between me and Jackie and his bodysuit comes from a tshirt Emilie gave me. The dinosaurs are glow-in-the-dark.

Breeze, the windmill. Requested by a friend that used to draw windmills..but the other kind of windmill that is thin with three twirly things. I thought that'd be too hard to make so I made the old-fashioned kind instead. He is made from a Batman t-shirt and his face reminds me of Beaker from the Muppets. I like to pretend the twirly black part of him is also dreadlocks. Beaker with dreads.

Oh and hey! this is the first appearance of my face! ...ish.

no name boombox. Made for the same friend that requested the windmill. He didn't want to name this one I guess. I was going to find an old pair of headphones to put behind the "speakers" so the cord could come out of a hole in the back and he could be plugged into an ipod...but I never did that. He is just full of stuffing. Also has a heart on him...I wish I remembered to give them all hearts.

Second shot of my face. My left eye gets all the action.

Thunder, the Owl. Made during a lightning storm. He has glasses but they are hard to see.

My tree! For A-treee-sa! I love it, that's all. Except it is currently on the floor of my bedroom where it does not belong.

This is one of my favorite things! I am so proud of it because I thought about it for a long time then spent months making it. This is the turtle I made for my pister's birthday. It's huge! She loves turtles and traveling, and I remembered an Iroquois creation myth that we read in high school, about a turtle that carried the world on its back. So I found a version of the myth that I liked and printed it out on the card.

And here's the last thing I've made. My brother's former roommate said she liked my stuffed animals/things and I told her I could make her one if she knew what she wanted. She requested a panda bear in underwear so I did that and gave him boxers. Bears are hard to make though and this is not really my favorite piece, but she loves it which is good. He has a tattoo on his arm of her initials inside a heart, and a piece of bamboo to munch on during his trip to NY. My friend and I decorated the box with inspirational phrases in order to confuse my brother, and it worked.

Bruce, in his natural habitat - my room. I just thought you should finally meet the little troublemaker. He is not stuffed, only with rabbit food and timothy hay.

So that's that. I think once I get all settled and get that job I'm hoping for, I can start making a new one. I was thinking about making a calavera but the 3D part of it would be difficult.

Anita Job

So I've just gotten home and need to apply for jobs. My goal was to do this Monday morning, but that is when my friend said he would come visit, so it was pushed back. Could've been done yesterday afternoon but I think I need to go in the morning. So today was the plan...and I got up and looked good and looked up the bus route and fixed my resume some and emailed a couple more jobs then printed my resume (half of the copies turned out too light) and brought Bruce upstairs for the chance to stretch and nibble on everything under my bed. ready to go. oh, I missed the bus...

And now I can't decide. Is it better to take the bus that gets downtown at 11:30 and apply today but during the lunch hour, or wait until tomorrow and try again to go in the morning (but on a Friday)? I think Jackie just decided for me that tomorrow is better and I think I decided that myself when I sat here to write this all down. So Friday it is. Four days later than my goal.

Here's the other issue:
Will someone hire me please? I have no professional experience. I've worked as a volunteer at the hospital and the shelter and schools and I've babysat kids for months at a time, but businesses don't see that as real experience. I could get a babysitting job easily, but I want to work where I can meet people and have coworkers for once. I think all the skills transfer: I almost never miss a day of work, I arrive on time, I am constantly busy and multi-tasking, and I take care of the needs of my customers. In some ways, I do more than most jobs ask for, but telling people that I babysit doesn't exactly show that off. I offered a cover letter, but that can only be so much...I at least need an interview. Or I just need someone to trust me and give me a shot!

Cross your fingers and hope that tomorrow will be the best job application day known to mankind (but for me, not for my competition) ;)

4 weeks

Four weeks is how long that "blogging once a week" idea lasted. I knew it would happen..I got into midterms and papers, and any minute I could spend not on the computer (besides Facebook, of course) was a godsend. But the quarter's over and I'm a college graduate! It's so weird that I started this blog right before leaving for school and I returned to it right before graduating. So much happened, but much of it doesn't fit this blog's theme. Now I'm back home and I know it's the type of place I belong.

My friend was visiting from LA for the past couple of days, so I got to show him around SLO. His first comment to me was, I didn't know you lived in the country. I didn't either, but as we went about our tour of the area, I knew what he meant. Everything I could think of showing him was outdoors: Bishop's Peak/Madonna Mountain, Edna Valley, Montaña de Oro, Morro Bay, Terrace Hill... Not surprisingly, every time we came back to the house we were exhausted. And that's how I know I belong in a place like this one. All through school, whenever it was finals week or I had a paper due, I'd make myself take a break from staring at a book or my laptop to look outside. I kept thinking my eyes were going to waste looking at screens and text; my eyes are meant for seeing trees and leaves and a natural world with too many details to remember, so you just have to stand on a rock, take a deep breath, and fill your body with the world around you.

Remember in Avatar, when they talk about the connections among the plants, and how the people can connect with the animals and trees? I think it's true that there is a connection among the energies of all living things, and I think that connection is harder to recognize the more we dissociate ourselves from the natural world. My sister told me about a study that measured the energy levels of trees in a forest and found that they are different when a normal person walks through and when a person walks through with an axe. I wish I could find it online. Anyway, think about how you feel after spending time outside. You feel refreshed, like your mind has been stimulated (and not just from the view) and your whole body gets tired. You could run around in an enclosed room with fake trees and lakes and animals and you wouldn't feel the same. Outside, our mind and our body is responding to so much more and that is tiring.

I love feeling like that though, I love sensing that connection to something real..which is why I'm through with living in Davis and going to classes. I'm done sitting inside for weeks on end. So what am I going to do? I'm gonna go find me a job where I can talk to people every day, then go out on hikes and to the beach during my time off. I'm going to save up money then make my way to a new country, where I can connect with the people and the environment there.
I'm going to get Bruce out from under my bed and go see my sister.

this blog needs a new name

suggestions welcome.

from you, Claudia, because you read it.